So this week, two very big things happened.
Thing 1: Connor's chair arrived. It was supremely unexpected, and the best surprise I've ever had. It's smooth and he is so comfortable in it - it's the BEST!!! I've already rhapsodized about it but it deserves daily adoration. I looooooooooooooooooooooove Connor's new chair!!
Thing 2: You know how you spend months trying to build up your young child's confidence in toilet training? You know how one of your prouder moments as a parent is when your child finally toilets properly, and you can see the end of diapers as you know it? I hear it's a beautiful thing. Drew has been making real progress lately, and I'm super proud of him. However, tonight we reached a pinnacle I had just not ever imagined. We had friends over for pizza tonight, and after dinner we were sitting on the deck while Drew and his friends ran around playing in the yard. It was lovely and peaceful, and then. Then...then Drew came up to me on the deck and said, "Mommy, I pooped behind the tree." We all laughed, and I said I think he meant peed. He walked me over to the tree on the other side of the yard. No. He had, in fact, pooped on the yard. We got him cleaned up (it didn't take much - he was very proud) and got a plastic bag to put it in the garbage.
Really. Really? Drew goes from diapers to dog-toileting?
I led him back inside and we talked about the fact that he did a great job not going in his pants, but that next time, he should come inside quickly and use the toilet. Because then he gets his Thomas bribe-toys.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Words
Sometimes, I forget about words. I forget about how they are a building block for everything. You would think this would not be a problem for me, 'cause I like words. I've been overusing them since a very young age.
Tucker has started using some words. His current favorites are "uh-oh!" and "Dad-deeeeeeee" which applies to most of us. We're all Daddy, apparently, to him.
This morning, though, a really interesting and exciting thing happened. Lee and I got Connor and Drew downstairs, and while I was getting the coffee made (and the milks warmed up) Connor was sitting in his chair ya-ya-ing in his usual way. I couldn't really hear him over the whirr and chunk of the coffee grinder. Drew, however, was right by him, and he jumped up and exclaimed (really - that's the perfect word for this!) "He said words, Mommy! He said, `Oh, yeah!' He said it!"
Drew was delighted that Connor has said words. We have spoken with Drew a few times about how Connor communicates without using regular words, and in his own way he seems to understand. But his unbridled excitement that his big brother had learned something was a great way to start a week. Of course, logically I know that Connor wasn't deliberately using language, and that's all right because it's what I know I can expect. If I could bottle the best of Drew, this would be in there. He loves Connor so much that he tells us at least two times a week now that he wishes he still shared a room with him. He never asks to share a room with Tucker. Well, not yet.
These little boys. They just fill up my heart.
Tucker has started using some words. His current favorites are "uh-oh!" and "Dad-deeeeeeee" which applies to most of us. We're all Daddy, apparently, to him.
This morning, though, a really interesting and exciting thing happened. Lee and I got Connor and Drew downstairs, and while I was getting the coffee made (and the milks warmed up) Connor was sitting in his chair ya-ya-ing in his usual way. I couldn't really hear him over the whirr and chunk of the coffee grinder. Drew, however, was right by him, and he jumped up and exclaimed (really - that's the perfect word for this!) "He said words, Mommy! He said, `Oh, yeah!' He said it!"
Drew was delighted that Connor has said words. We have spoken with Drew a few times about how Connor communicates without using regular words, and in his own way he seems to understand. But his unbridled excitement that his big brother had learned something was a great way to start a week. Of course, logically I know that Connor wasn't deliberately using language, and that's all right because it's what I know I can expect. If I could bottle the best of Drew, this would be in there. He loves Connor so much that he tells us at least two times a week now that he wishes he still shared a room with him. He never asks to share a room with Tucker. Well, not yet.
These little boys. They just fill up my heart.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
A little crack in a little heart
Last night, our routine was unroutinely interrupted. On most nights, Drew and I read with Tucker, then with Connor, then just the two of us together in his room. Some nights, Tucker is already asleep by the time baths are complete, like last night. So into Connor's room we went to read his library book from school, named "Harry the Dirty Dog". We've read this book 5 times already, once each night (one night Connor was asleep, so we just read in Drew's room). I don't remember this book from my childhood, but it's obviously old enough that I could have read it as a small one. In the book, Harry, a white dog with black spots, hears the bath running and doesn't want to be bathed, so he buries the scrubbing brush and runs away from home for the day to play around town. During the course of the day, he gets so dirty, he becomes a black dog with white spots. Drew thinks this is very funny. At the end of the day, he goes back home and the family wonders who the new dog is, and where their Harry has gotten off to. Well, he does his tricks to show them that he's Harry, including "playing dead".
Last night, Drew stopped me on that page, saying, "What's that?"
"What, honey?" I hedged, dreading the worst.
"What's dead?" he replied. I have arrived unexpectedly at...the worst.
"Huh. Well, that's hard to explain," I said, my mind spinning as I tried to find an easy, non-upsetting explanation of `dead'. Guess what? I came up emtpy. So I plowed on, "Well, dead is when you aren't alive any more. Right now, you and Mommy and Connor and Daddy and Tucker, we're all alive and we get to be together and play together. When you are dead, you don't get to play or be with someone any more." He sat there, a stoic expression on his face, and looked at me very hard. I waited a minute, collected myself, and said, "Are you okay, honey? Do you want to ask Mommy something?" He said no. I asked if we should keep reading. He said yes. We finished the book, and said good-night to Connor.
When I was about to tuck him in, the waterworks started, but he couldn't tell me what was making him cry. I am SURE it was the conversation we had about what "dead" is. The fact is, it's likely Drew and Tucker will learn about dead earlier than some of their compatriots. Actually, what's likely is that I will feel a compulsion to prepare them for death, since it's entirely possible that Connor will not live as long as I do. This has fostered in me a desperate desire to keep them from knowing about death. My preferred language has been to use "not alive" in place of "dead" - sure, it's a hairsplit but one that made me more comfortable.
This morning, Drew woke up upset still. In a way, I hate that I was a party to the first hard thing he tried to learn. He's a very emotional young boy and I don't want to encourage him to tamp down those emotions. Genetically speaking, he's a little hosed. I am surprisingly sentimental, and Lee is at times hyperbolically emotional.
At the same time, I would have hated myself if I wasn't there with him for his first major emotional lesson. I want him to know every day that we will always be there together.
Last night, Drew stopped me on that page, saying, "What's that?"
"What, honey?" I hedged, dreading the worst.
"What's dead?" he replied. I have arrived unexpectedly at...the worst.
"Huh. Well, that's hard to explain," I said, my mind spinning as I tried to find an easy, non-upsetting explanation of `dead'. Guess what? I came up emtpy. So I plowed on, "Well, dead is when you aren't alive any more. Right now, you and Mommy and Connor and Daddy and Tucker, we're all alive and we get to be together and play together. When you are dead, you don't get to play or be with someone any more." He sat there, a stoic expression on his face, and looked at me very hard. I waited a minute, collected myself, and said, "Are you okay, honey? Do you want to ask Mommy something?" He said no. I asked if we should keep reading. He said yes. We finished the book, and said good-night to Connor.
When I was about to tuck him in, the waterworks started, but he couldn't tell me what was making him cry. I am SURE it was the conversation we had about what "dead" is. The fact is, it's likely Drew and Tucker will learn about dead earlier than some of their compatriots. Actually, what's likely is that I will feel a compulsion to prepare them for death, since it's entirely possible that Connor will not live as long as I do. This has fostered in me a desperate desire to keep them from knowing about death. My preferred language has been to use "not alive" in place of "dead" - sure, it's a hairsplit but one that made me more comfortable.
This morning, Drew woke up upset still. In a way, I hate that I was a party to the first hard thing he tried to learn. He's a very emotional young boy and I don't want to encourage him to tamp down those emotions. Genetically speaking, he's a little hosed. I am surprisingly sentimental, and Lee is at times hyperbolically emotional.
At the same time, I would have hated myself if I wasn't there with him for his first major emotional lesson. I want him to know every day that we will always be there together.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wombat. Wombat, Wombat, Wombat!!!
Glory Hallelujah! I would cry about this except I am at work and that's just so inappropriate.
Today I had confirmed for me that the order for Connor's Wombat Tilt-in-Space chair was placed 4/13/10, approved by insurance.
Connor has been waiting for this chair since April 2008. Connor shouldn't have to wait for things. Drew can wait for more Thomas toys. Tucker can wait for Mommy to pick him up until her hands are empty. Connor cannot wait. Every moment of every day is a little different for him than it is his brothers, and to be near the end of this long, stupidly delayed process fills me with little bubbles of joy. It's like my blood is suddenly carbonated!
I've never been more pleased to hear the word wombat in my life. And I love funny words.
Today I had confirmed for me that the order for Connor's Wombat Tilt-in-Space chair was placed 4/13/10, approved by insurance.
Connor has been waiting for this chair since April 2008. Connor shouldn't have to wait for things. Drew can wait for more Thomas toys. Tucker can wait for Mommy to pick him up until her hands are empty. Connor cannot wait. Every moment of every day is a little different for him than it is his brothers, and to be near the end of this long, stupidly delayed process fills me with little bubbles of joy. It's like my blood is suddenly carbonated!
I've never been more pleased to hear the word wombat in my life. And I love funny words.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
This is the end....this is the e-e-e-e-end...of the infancy
If you are now hearing a set of chords from the 80s played by Bruce Hornsby, then you are right on the money - totally took over that great song he wrote for Don Henley there in the title. It's appropriate today, because today Tucker is one, and there will be no more infants in my household to whom I personally gave birth.
Tucker's first year has been a really hectic and special one for us. He arrived a little early, 2 days prior to expectation/schedule. When he was delivered, and Dr. Elliot showed him to me over the sterile drape, I gasped and said, "Oh, he looks just like Drew!" Which is hilarious if you take into account that I look practically identical to one of my sisters, and yet it never occurred to me until I saw Tucker in person for the first time that the same "phenomenon of genetics" could happen with my offspring. I know - it's like tunnel vision except with the brain. Tunnel brain.
The day we left the hospital with him, I insisted that Lee stop at our partially renovated house - I wanted Tucker to be home first, even if we would only be there a few minutes before heading over to the rental house and his very excited brothers and grandparents who were waiting there for us.
Tucker has been an easy and genial child. He never seemed to have much trouble with sleeping - it was only 2 months when I started getting 9 hour stretches at night. He cries when he's hurt or extremely, extremely tired. He laughs almost constantly, and you can turn his tears into laughter with minimal effort. It usually takes Drew only one "Peekaboo!" to bring Tucker back to his sunny disposition. He started crawling before he was 8 months old, and walking in his 11th month. His first tooth broke in his 7th month, and now he has 6! He has said "dada", "mama", "megan", "hi", "uh oh", "blah, blah, blah" and "gerry" though not always on purpose.
He has started to discover Connor, and it will be interesting to see how he absorbs the difference of Connor into himself, and to see how it is similar to Drew and how it is different.
He seems to think that Drew is the best thing ever. I wish Drew felt the same way all the time instead of taking toys away from him.
I cannot wait to see what the rest of the years will bring. I am so grateful and happy that he has had such an amazing first year. No doctor visits other than well-baby checkups. No major falls, like off the stairs or a bed.
But...I miss my baby already.
Tucker's first year has been a really hectic and special one for us. He arrived a little early, 2 days prior to expectation/schedule. When he was delivered, and Dr. Elliot showed him to me over the sterile drape, I gasped and said, "Oh, he looks just like Drew!" Which is hilarious if you take into account that I look practically identical to one of my sisters, and yet it never occurred to me until I saw Tucker in person for the first time that the same "phenomenon of genetics" could happen with my offspring. I know - it's like tunnel vision except with the brain. Tunnel brain.
The day we left the hospital with him, I insisted that Lee stop at our partially renovated house - I wanted Tucker to be home first, even if we would only be there a few minutes before heading over to the rental house and his very excited brothers and grandparents who were waiting there for us.
Tucker has been an easy and genial child. He never seemed to have much trouble with sleeping - it was only 2 months when I started getting 9 hour stretches at night. He cries when he's hurt or extremely, extremely tired. He laughs almost constantly, and you can turn his tears into laughter with minimal effort. It usually takes Drew only one "Peekaboo!" to bring Tucker back to his sunny disposition. He started crawling before he was 8 months old, and walking in his 11th month. His first tooth broke in his 7th month, and now he has 6! He has said "dada", "mama", "megan", "hi", "uh oh", "blah, blah, blah" and "gerry" though not always on purpose.
He has started to discover Connor, and it will be interesting to see how he absorbs the difference of Connor into himself, and to see how it is similar to Drew and how it is different.
He seems to think that Drew is the best thing ever. I wish Drew felt the same way all the time instead of taking toys away from him.
I cannot wait to see what the rest of the years will bring. I am so grateful and happy that he has had such an amazing first year. No doctor visits other than well-baby checkups. No major falls, like off the stairs or a bed.
But...I miss my baby already.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Return of Joefish
So when I was young, and my brother was younger, there was a small contingency of people (his friends) who couldn't pronounce his name right and called him "Joefish" for a while instead of Joseph. He eventually shortened to Joe, which then got accidentally re-lengthened to Joemybrother, but that's another story and not one for a blog with updates about my boys.
Last night, I was giving Drew and Tucker a bath - now every time there is a bath to be had it's together. They both truly seem to enjoy sharing the "boyo tub" as Drew calls it. Tucker loves the bath. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES it. It's so entertaining to watch him enjoy himself so thoroughly. So on this particular night, Tucker managed to wiggle-scootch past Drew and ended up down by the spigot. He kept looking at the drain pull cover, which is reflective and just about head-height for him when he's sitting in the tub. Finally, he started to try to bite or suck on the plate cover. Each time he leaned in, I said, "Tucker, no," and he would look at me over his shoulder and stop. I must have said it more than five times. Suddenly Drew chimed in, "Tucker Joefish, stop! Don't do that!"
I had to sit back on my heels and stifle combined laughter. Tucker's middle name is not Joefish, or even Joseph. It's Smith. Drew's middle name is Joseph, but as far as he's concerned, it's the word that gets used when he's in trouble. Hence his lecturing tone and admonishing attitude towards poor little Tucker! I am not sure why he mispronounced it. He does hear "Andrew Joseph" with fair frequency.
Anyway, it was great, and I laughed a lot about it today. Lee didn't get it at all. But he never had a Joefish, or a Joemybrother, either.
Last night, I was giving Drew and Tucker a bath - now every time there is a bath to be had it's together. They both truly seem to enjoy sharing the "boyo tub" as Drew calls it. Tucker loves the bath. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES it. It's so entertaining to watch him enjoy himself so thoroughly. So on this particular night, Tucker managed to wiggle-scootch past Drew and ended up down by the spigot. He kept looking at the drain pull cover, which is reflective and just about head-height for him when he's sitting in the tub. Finally, he started to try to bite or suck on the plate cover. Each time he leaned in, I said, "Tucker, no," and he would look at me over his shoulder and stop. I must have said it more than five times. Suddenly Drew chimed in, "Tucker Joefish, stop! Don't do that!"
I had to sit back on my heels and stifle combined laughter. Tucker's middle name is not Joefish, or even Joseph. It's Smith. Drew's middle name is Joseph, but as far as he's concerned, it's the word that gets used when he's in trouble. Hence his lecturing tone and admonishing attitude towards poor little Tucker! I am not sure why he mispronounced it. He does hear "Andrew Joseph" with fair frequency.
Anyway, it was great, and I laughed a lot about it today. Lee didn't get it at all. But he never had a Joefish, or a Joemybrother, either.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tucker walks, baby
T is almost 1 - one week away! I can't believe how fast he went from 8 pound nugget curled up in my arm to the big, robust and happy toddler he is on the edge of becoming! He is so very cheerful. Now that he walks some, Drew can just taste that tag is right around the corner. He is a great big brother. This morning, he told Tucker, "No, that's not nice. You should say sorry. Say you're sorry, Tucker." but it was teaching and not mean or yelling! I laughed and said, "Honey, Tucker can't say sorry yet! He can't even say Mama!"
That said, he does say a few things: frequently Dada, just recently he started repeating Blah blah blah and yesterday he said Megan to Miss Megan when she was leaving after her appointment with Connor.
Speaking of the C-Man, he's had a rough week. He wasn't feeling so hot a week ago, and has struggled at school this week to get his feet back under him. The good news, no, the GREAT NEWS, is that yesterday we got a letter stating that the new chair we've been trying for TWO YEARS to get for him through insurance has been approved! Finally! And he's only a foot taller! Giggle. We'll remeasure him and get the correct size made for him. We were so surprised to get a "yes" letter after so many no's, we had to read it several times.
That's all from this end. We have this fancy new camera I don't know how to use, so I'll have to cool it on the pics a little bit. I'll try and get some good recents up soon.
That said, he does say a few things: frequently Dada, just recently he started repeating Blah blah blah and yesterday he said Megan to Miss Megan when she was leaving after her appointment with Connor.
Speaking of the C-Man, he's had a rough week. He wasn't feeling so hot a week ago, and has struggled at school this week to get his feet back under him. The good news, no, the GREAT NEWS, is that yesterday we got a letter stating that the new chair we've been trying for TWO YEARS to get for him through insurance has been approved! Finally! And he's only a foot taller! Giggle. We'll remeasure him and get the correct size made for him. We were so surprised to get a "yes" letter after so many no's, we had to read it several times.
That's all from this end. We have this fancy new camera I don't know how to use, so I'll have to cool it on the pics a little bit. I'll try and get some good recents up soon.
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